Cockroaches and Butterflies
( I originally wrote this at a work retreat focused on storytelling and Virginia Tech’s Aspirations for Student Learning. Now that I’m blogging, it seemed only appropriate to share it on MLK Jr. Day.)
Prepare for a Life of Courageous Leadership
Virginia Tech students will be courageous leaders who are willing to challenge the status quo in pursuit of a more humane and just world. They will have the fortitude to speak up when they witness an injustice and reach out to those who are vulnerable, marginalized, or in need. Courageous leadership is possible whether or not the individual is in a position of responsibility. Virginia Tech students will inspire others with their actions, changing the world one decision at a time.
I remember sitting in the room. Casual, comfortable, among friends. It was to be a silly game of questions—literally from The Book of Questions. The book was small, maybe 4″ x 4″ in size. It sits on a table in my office today.
The question presented was, “Would you step on (and kill) a cockroach for $1 million?”
It was a room of females, giddy and tipsy… comfortable in our own skin, at least in this setting.
“Of course.”
“Hell yeah.”
“Hate those crunchy little suckers! You bet your ass I would!”
These were the replies. Question asked, answers given. Then, a supplemental question in association. “For the same amount of money, would you rip the wings off of a beautiful butterfly?”
There was silence. Then one quick reply… “For $1 million, I’d do just about anything.”
Then another… “Why do I have to rip off the wings to kill it?”
Others answered, debated, considered. I sat perplexed. Why did look, perception, and stereotype influence the response for me? Aren’t we all worthy? Aren’t we all here for a reason? Don’t we all have value? Isn’t every life important.. and meaningful… and precious?
Granted, we were talking about cockroaches and butterflies. And a million dollars. Perhaps that was it… the million dollars. Would I do it? At all? For less money? For more? What is the tipping point? Is there a tipping point? What might influence or change my mind?
I sat with the question long after the wine glasses were empty, my friends had gone home, and daylight turned to dark. For me, it was such a BIG question. What would I do? Why do two things, so different and yet similar, warrant such conflicting response. And how did money or financial gain play a part? It was a metaphor for my current situation. A person who believes in the inherent value and worth of all creatures, but operating in an environment of “money talks.”
I’d been conditioned to not “ruffle feathers” or “stir the pot”—to “fly under the radar” and to agree with the masses, or at least remain silent if in opposition. I largely existed to be seen, not heard. And if I could hide so as to not be seen either, I was to do that too.
So when I think about how to prepare for a life of courageous leadership, I think about IMPACT. About the ripple effect. About paying it forward while taking a step back to check myself. To walk the talk, not just talk the talk. To do what is right, even when no one is watching and there is no benefit to me… no praise for action… and to do so even if there is an outcome that causes great personal strife and toil. To fall on the sword for others because they can’t… or shouldn’t have to… carry the burden alone.
Prepare for a Life of Courageous Leadership
The preparation is great… sometimes great in time, sometimes great in effort, sometimes great in input. It can be subtle or obvious. It can be intentional or accidental.
A lifetime of such is just that… LIVING! If I can’t do right by others, how will they do right by me? If I’m not awake and responsive to the injustices of the world, what example am I setting for others, especially my own children?
Courage is not simple, not easy, not happenstance… it’s not contrived or expecting… it can be scary, terrifying, and with great RISK… whether known, perceived, understood or real… and doing it anyway!
Leadership is to set the example… to carry others when necessary, to offer a hand when needed, or to walk beside in support… to expect no applause for action and to do so willingly… because it is simply who you are at the core and because living isn’t a solitary act.
That’s courageous leadership to me. I do dream of a world that is more humane and just. Better yet, I don’t just dream it, I want it. I want it for the cockroaches and the butterflies. I want it for the outwardly beautiful and the inwardly unique. I want it for me and I want it for you.
And as for the $1 million?
Well, let me tell you what money—in any amount—cannot buy. It cannot buy love, honesty, courage, truth, respect, dignity, integrity, or peace of mind.
No amount of money can.
So, I’d rather have the things money CANNOT buy… alongside the cockroaches and the butterflies!
GlitterBombMom 
I remember vividly when you spoke this beautiful piece into the room. There was a hush, everyone listening so intently. You were nervous, moving from foot to foot and speaking quickly at first. Then you settled in and told this compelling story. Your stature changed and pride was written all over your face. I felt so proud of you, too! And I am thrilled that you’ve continued to express yourself through writing. Way to go, Hunter … keep telling us your stories.
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