The Best Part of Waking Up…

I love coffee.  I do. Truly.

It’s a recent phenomenon to me over the past decade… really since the birth of my second child when I needed caffeine to survive.  I made it through college all-nighters and even baby #1, but when I transitioned to a full-time working mom of TWO little girls (now three), it was coffee or vodka and, well, coffee seemed the better choice. Of course, in full disclosure, I started as a 7-Eleven gal, upgraded to Starbucks, and then went for the holy grail of a Keurig.

But when I initiated brewing a full pot this weekend as a house guest before others were up and functioning, I had to read the instructions.  No, not the instructions on the coffee maker.  The instructions on the coffee.  You know, like if I put water in the pot and a filter in the basket-thingy, how much actual coffee does it take?  Because there really is nothing worse than weak coffee (says the woman who uses 3 sugar packets and a healthy dump of creamer).

Admittedly, I’m not one for recipes, instructions, or directions when it comes to food prep… which I consider this to be.  I tend to think life is a little more fun with a dump of this and a dash of that.  Cooking doesn’t seem to require being so exact.  Of course, this might also reflect how often I cook.  But let’s not get distracted or judge.  And, I tend to be a control freak in every other aspect of my life, so you know—I break bad in the kitchen.

Ten scoops.  Ten scoops of coffee grounds for one pot, eh?  Seems like a lot.  But that’s what the directions say.  (In full transparency, it said one scoop per cup of water, but if you’re making a pot– I say make a full pot!)

I’ll leave you hanging for a minute on how the coffee turned out (cliffhanger, right?) to share the metaphor for life that I discovered in the process.

I’ve always had a plan… a set of directions for my life.

• Step 1- get good grades.
• Step 2- go to college.
• Step 3- graduate and get a job.
• Step 4- get married.
• Step 5- own a home.
• Step 6- have babies.
• Step 7- be PTA president.
• Step 8- retire early.

You know—have it all plus a white picket fence?

Mind you, these “directions” were self-prescribed from some set of rules or expectations that I thought I had to meet.  And largely (this is hindsight), they were driven by a need to please others.  Sometimes they got me in hot water, sometimes I came off a little too strong, and at other times I discovered I was weaker than I imagined.  Sometimes they were like magic.  Other times they didn’t quite deliver.  At all times, they’ve provided reasonable fodder, ample self-reflection, and plenty of self-critique.

My need to have a plan, however, has also been an excuse to prevent life from happening organically.  Remember me saying above that I’m a control freak? When you have too much of a plan, you don’t leave room for authentic spontaneity, for moments of unplanned magic, or for collisions of complexity that completely change your worldview. 

And… I’ve found that too stringent a plan can make you inept at handling “life” when your plan goes off-course.

Sometimes things don’t happen the way you thought they should or would.  They don’t go as you planned.  And while this use to send me into a downward spiral of disappointment and frustration, I think I’ve finally learned to be in the moment… to take life as it comes… to align how I feel with what I outwardly express… to look at life as a game of “choose your own adventure” and to find the magic in the moment.

So for me, there is a direct connection—in time and space—between my love of coffee and my desire to be awake… awake to my own life, awake to my emotions, awake to possibility.  It doesn’t mean I don’t check out the instructions or consider the directions. I even on occasion still follow them.

But, I’ve finally realized these plans are written in pencil, not Sharpie… and I get to decide when to follow them, change them, or ignore them.

Simply realizing the power of choice—whether Keurig vs. coffee pot, or in life and love—is a remarkable one!

As for that pot of coffee? I decided on 10 full, heaping scoops—because I don’t think coffee can be too strong or you can be too awake.

I’m finding both rather blissful.