The Whole Kitten Kaboodle

Some day we will both look back and have to laugh

We lived through a lifetime and the aftermath

 But this is the time you’ll turn back and so will I

And those will be the days you can never recall

There are moments in life that bind us in ways we sometimes don’t realize. And there is something rather amazing about real and true friendships, the kind that last for decades. Friendships that have peaks and pits, curvy roads and stand-still traffic, U-turns and roundabouts… but no dead ends.

I’m not an open person. I’m authentic—what you see is what you get—but I don’t offer my most vulnerable self to many people. In true Cancer zodiac form, I’m a crab. The hard exterior shell is pretty accurate—the protective suit of armor is always on, because I’m soft and easily wounded beneath that shell. Reciprocity and loyalty matter to me… maybe more now than ever before in my life.

I spent four years in high school with folks I’d now refer to as mere acquaintance. My time in college, even as a member of a sorority, yields less than a handful of, again, present-day acquaintances. Facebook says I have nearly a thousand friends, but that’s a hyperbolic misnomer… nothing more than a modern-day electronic Rolodex with photos and status updates.

So having formed friendships in my twenties that are still going in my forties is a truly special thing. Maybe it was the travel and the long bus trips, the culture shock across more than a dozen countries, the “Broadway-style show” plot or how they understand my music, the life-altering and transformational experience, or perhaps just common moments shared with people who become your makeshift family for a year. That year, by the way, was 1998.

It wasn’t even a year, really—a mere 348 days if the specifics matter to you. It’s not that the year itself wasn’t incredible… I mean, it was, obviously. But I’m not sure I knew twenty years ago that the real gift of the experience was going to be a lifetime of friendships. This group, these friends, it’s different with them. And I can’t quite tell you how or why.

I adore these people… and I’ve been disappointed in them. I’ve cheered them from afar and cried in their presence. I’ve supported them in their best and worst moments, even if I wasn’t physically present or as vocal as I should have been. I’ve annoyed them and they’ve irritated me. I’ve caroused with them, sang and danced with them, laughed hysterically with them, and loved them. Actually, let’s change that to present tense…

I LOVE them… unconditionally.

Maybe that is it. The unconditional part.

We’ve traveled, moved, and relocated again—my address book now a memoir of our lives.

We’ve started careers, quit jobs, chased dreams, and sometimes just stuck with the less fulfilling.

We’ve mailed treats and goodies, baby gifts, and holiday cards not just across state lines but also country borders—hoping to lessen the distance and feel a bit closer to one another.

We’ve fallen in love and broken hearts—our own and others, and in some cases each other’s.

We’ve been (are) single and quite saucy. We’ve gone on blind dates, dabbled online, and tested every hookup… ahem, relationship… app known to humankind. We’ve gotten married, and divorced. We’ve chosen life partners. More so, we’ve chosen love.

We’ve chosen love that doesn’t care about idiosyncrasy or oddness. Love that ignores status quo and antiquated standards. Love that accepts and honors. Love that lets you be you. Love that may manifest outwardly as picked at or picked on, but is far more kinship than cruelty.

It really is the old adage… “a friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.” Let’s suffice it to say I know A LOT about these folks, far more than I should. (Oh the tangled webs we weave, eh?)

And you know what? I cherish everything about them. It is a privilege to have them in my life and call them my friends. I’ll honor  the friendship we share as long as I’m on this Earth.

(Cheers kitties! I’ll see you at happy hour, if not before.)