Unprecedented

Sometimes we don’t realize the power of a moment IN the moment. We can’t imagine the impact it will have. We don’t understand the implication or consequences of our actions. We forget that change is the only thing that ever stays the same.

Whether it be in our hustle and bustle, in our avoidance and denial, in our excitement and celebration, we are often remiss at conceptualizing that tomorrow our world could look vastly different. But there are no do-overs, no time machines to take us back, and no way to UN-know something once known.

At this very moment, the entire globe is entrenched in the specifics of COVID-19 (aka: coronavirus)… who has it, how is it transmitted, how close is it to me, what does it mean to social distance, school closures (meaning the cancellation of extracurriculars, proms, and graduations), key populations at risk, protective and preventive measures, death tolls, flattening the curve, economic impacts… it’s all a bit too much to even comprehend.

A health crisis of this nature and the response to it, especially in the United States, is unprecedented.

I’m in the first few days of homeschooling my daughters due to forced school closures. Each day, I provide them a writing prompt for journaling. One of the prompts this past week was:

“What does being brave mean to you?”

As a writer and blogger, that question intrigued me. How would I define being brave?

Am I brave?

I think of book titles I’ve read like “Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown and “Carry On Warrior” by Glennon Doyle Melton. I’ve gone parasailing and skydiving… despite a fear of heights… and survived to talk about it. I’ve walked away from more than one relationship that wasn’t healthy or good for me (admittedly, I’m working hard to prevent the need for repeating that bravery again). I’m raising three daughters as a single mom… and the first one is a teenager (heaven help me). Hell, I’m even trying to keep some plants alive which seems silly, but it’s a real challenge for my non-green thumbs. (Once you kill a cactus you start to re-evaluate your abilities and contributions.)

Ultimately, I do think I’m a brave and courageous individual. Thinking about bravery reminds me of a passage about love and fear. There are various iterations, but here is a short version:

“There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety, and guilt. It’s true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it’s more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They’re opposites. If we’re in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we’re in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Often in normal life, but especially in unprecedented times, I think we (people) tend to choose fear. COVID-19 scares the hell out of me…  and I don’t think the United States has even started the uphill climb on the curve we are trying to flatten. But I also think about love… and opportunity… and priorities.

How often do we complain about the breakneck pace of our jobs? (Note: I fully realize, acknowledge, and appreciate the many professions that are continuing to operate at this pace and worse.)

How often do we say there is no time to exercise… or to hone that skill or talent deep within… or to read that book we’ve been dying to read that’s collecting dust on the shelf… or to master that secret family recipe?

How often do we say, “I’ll call you soon?” to a friend… but let the weeks go by? How often do we tell our kids that we’ll read them a story tomorrow night… only to be more tired tomorrow than we are today?

How often do we say we wish life would just slow down?

I’ve learned so much about myself this past year. I’ve learned about compromise, sacrifice, and lip service… and not in good ways. We all talk a good game. We even mean well. But, if I may be so blunt, we suck at execution.

We live in fear instead of love. We listen to the voices in our head that say we are not enough. We believe our job titles and paychecks are more important than our joy and health. Our bosses get the best of us and our loved ones get the rest of us.

At some point last fall, I decided I wasn’t WHO I wanted to be. I wasn’t LIVING the life I desired. I wasn’t being TRUE to the priorities I espoused.

That, my friends, was a scary realization. And I was faced with a choice.  Fear or Love? Was I going to fear the unknown and “play it safe” to avoid failing and/or to escape other people’s opinions? OR, was I going to choose love… the people I love, the life I love, and a love of self?

These are unprecedented times. The prognosis for COVID-19 in the United States is grim… and I cannot ignore the lives of others around the globe who have been and are currently where we could (will?) be in a matter of days or weeks. But we have a choice.

We can live in fear… refuse to change, maintain the status quo, and pretend to not see *.

OR…

We can choose love… a love of self, our families, our neighbors, and humanity*.

We can accept a gift of unscheduled time, the solace of our families and homes, and isolation in solidarity for a greater good. We can appreciate the time to exercise or dive deeper into a personal passion. We can immerse ourselves in that book or make a mess in our kitchens. We can be grateful for the technology to Skype, Zoom, or Facetime friends and family both near and far. We can snuggle in and read those books to our children.

I want to find comfort, courage, and a willingness to be brave.

Let’s…