Will You Shut Up, Man?

The media has been ablaze this week about Joseph Epstein’s Op-Ed for the Wall Street Journal (WSJ) about incoming First Lady Jill Biden’s earned title of “Dr.”

I must admit that, at first, I couldn’t get past the author’s last name, wondering if he was related to the now-dead convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. I thought maybe his chauvinism and misogyny were just a result of a poor gene pool. Alas, there seems to be no relation.

Op-Eds are a step up from this blog. Mr. Epstein is spouting his opinion, just as I do (though, I’d like to believe, a bit less eloquently). He just happens to have the platform of an award-winning international daily news publication… so he gets an audience too. The WSJ isn’t going to bristle about being the recipient of clicks, column inches, and water-cooler conversation. Their job is to sell newspapers. I’d say the attention from Mr. Epstein’s piece has spiked a Q4 gain for the WSJ.

All that said, I’ve spent most of my career to date in higher education (18+ of ~23years). Let me be the first to disclose… I only have a bachelor’s degree. Only. My higher ed career wasn’t as a formal educator, but rather as an administrator… though I’ll argue that I still did a lot of teaching and educating.

Unlike the hubris of Mr. Epstein, my “only a bachelor’s degree” is the basis for many bouts with imposter syndrome and numerous moments of feeling less than. While those feelings aren’t as prevalent today as they once were (because what I do for a living is becoming less-and-less how I wish to be known), commentary like that of Mr. Epstein is insulting and diminutive to all women. To imply an EdD is less than a PhD is less than an MD… and that the title Mrs. is the most relevant title for an accomplished and brilliant woman is, well… asinine… and, Mr. Epstein, you can kiss mine.

Formal education has always been important… not my favorite way to learn, but always valued. I’m not a first-generation college student… I’m a fourth. FOURTH. Let that sink in. My mother and paternal grandmother were educators, as was almost every woman I admired growing up. My paternal grandmother, father, ex-husband, numerous friends, and my current partner all have master’s degrees… in the friend realm, add a healthy number of PhDs and EdDs to that list. I’m the least formally educated (by degree) person in most of my social circles.

Do I think having an advanced degree makes you smarter than me? No. Better than me? Nope, I don’t.

I do think you earned it though and, as such, get to use and flaunt your title as much as you’d like. I think it was hard, challenging, and demanding… and the title you earned is a small reward for the work, dedication, and commitment you made. I do think you have specialized knowledge in a specific field. Honestly, I think most of you are bad-asses in the much the same way I think veterans are bad-asses. It takes grit.

I know I could do it… I just don’t want to. I have other priorities and dreams I prefer to invest that time in… so, I am. I don’t have to defend myself and my decisions. And you know what? Neither does Dr. Jill Biden. Not to Mr. Epstein. Not to anyone.

I’ve witnessed first-hand my female colleagues be greeted by their first names, only to add Dr., Dean, and Vice President before their male counterparts’ names in the same room. I watched a male university president be hired only to have the campus community mildly panic about how to address his also Dr. wife. It’s not hard folx, but it is infuriating. Maddening even.

Ladies– you earned it, so use it! Say it, display it, add it to your social media profiles, and put it in your signature lines. Add it to your nametag. Embroider it on your shirt. Get some letterhead and a desk plaque with it prominently displayed. You get to use it—when, how, and as much as you like—and I will too when I address you, because I support you and your accomplishments!

As for you Mr. Epstein…  Kiddo, I might suggest you consider some classes in feminism or women and gender studies. Or, at the very least, worry about your own damn self. If you didn’t EARN the degree and the title yourself, you certainly don’t get to critique others who did.

To close, I’ll borrow from Hamilton…

“While we’re talking…

Let me offer you some free advice…

Talk less… Smile more”

~from the song “Aaron Burr, Sir”

Note: Mr. Epstein, in case you are unaware, Hamilton is a brilliant and acclaimed Broadway musical. Perhaps you’ve heard of the Arts?