44 Revolutions

Yesterday, I turned 44.

It was a nice, quiet day with my significant other featuring a smattering of texts, FB messages, and phone calls from family and friends. The sun was shining. We went to one of our favorite outdoor nature spots. I took pictures. He sketched. We ate a delicious meal and enjoyed some live music. There was Starbucks in the morning and Rosé in the afternoon. I even squeezed in a documentary on Netflix and an early bedtime. It was a good day!

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written a blog post. A “hot minute” in this case is 145 days, but who’s counting? Actually, I am and that is WAY too long and a bit unacceptable for my own personal standards. Nevertheless, it is what it is. I’m writing today and that is good enough.

COVID isn’t over, but the world (or at least my little section of it) is coming back to life. My girls finished their 3^rd, 6^th, and 8^th grade school years—fully masked and on an adjusted schedule, but they did it. I still hold the utmost respect for our children and educators for the astonishing feat they accomplished across the 2020-2021 academic year.

This spring was a vast improvement from 2020.

We cheered at lacrosse tournaments. We applauded at an outdoor dance recital… thankful they got to perform. We can go to our community pool whenever we like without a reservation. We are enjoying some family vacation time. School resumes in less than a month. College football will return this fall. We got vaccinated and we continue to do our part to keep ourselves and others safe.

These are the markers indicating a return to “normal.”

Between “Mom-ing” three girls full time, a global pandemic, and another trip around the sun, I’ve been thinking about the lessons I’ve learned in life. For heaven’s sake, I’m middle aged now. (UGH!) So, I wanted to capture them… for posterity, if nothing else.

“Lessons” may not even be the most adequate descriptor… and “wisdom” seems way too self-important… they’re insights, realizations, new awareness, or a better understanding gained than some prior moment. I don’t suppose they’re groundbreaking nor Earth-shattering. Some were easily learned. Some were painful. Some were “Oh Shit” shockers. All are exceptionally true, for me.

---

Here is one for every trip around the sun I’ve made thus far (in no particular order) …

1. Love is the answer, no matter the question.
2. Consistency is hard.
3. The truth can hurt… but it can also be liberating.
4. You can’t go back, so make great memories.
5. Kindness matters. You never know another person’s struggles.
6. Racism is real, and it’s a white people problem that needs rectifying.
7. Your parents are still your parents no matter how old you are or annoying it is.
8. To quote Dolly, “If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain.”
9. Stories matter… and deserve to be told. Share your own and be sure to listen to others’.
10. Love, even if it ends in heartbreak, is not to be regretted.
11. “Should” and “Must” are terrible words that rob you of happiness.
12. Intelligence has nothing to do with schooling or a college degree.
13. Your health is the best investment you can make.
14. People who knew you as a child are critically important relationships to maintain.
15. Celebrate birthdays… your own and others. A year older is better than the alternative.
16. Laugh every single day. And don’t be afraid to laugh too loudly.
17. Crying is therapeutic.
18. Luck and hard work are identical twins.
19. Say “YES” … especially when it scares you, but not if it will kill you or bankrupt you.
20. Travel as much as you can… to all the places you can… in all the ways you can.
21. Smile. It is a free gift that you can give away constantly… and it makes people wonder.
22. Try to eat the rainbow every day.
23. Assuming is a bad habit. Break it.
24. To each their own. Mind your own damn business.
25. You can have it all, but probably not all at the same time.
26. Real success is not your job title or annual salary.
27. Life can change in a moment. Never leave something important unsaid.
28. Stay curious… take a moment to Google that shit!
29. Having a rock-solid plan is the best way to get off course.
30. Find a “ride or die” friend in life… a Thelma to your Louise.
31. Do what is right, especially when no one is looking.
32. Climate change is real and science matters.
33. Everyone has 24 hours in their day, but not everyone has priorities.
34. Say what you mean. Mean what you say.
35. Fail forward. Experience, especially the bad ones, are life’s greatest teacher.
36. Don’t make others do what you can easily do for yourself. That said, don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
37. Hurting people hurt people.
38. You can be mad; You cannot be mean.
39. Sunsets and rainbows are magical things… pause and take them in.
40. Everything in moderation but ration social media for your own mental health.
41. Be present for and attentive to your own life.
42. Reality is subjective.
43. Self-worth can be a hard-fought battle.
44. Everything doesn’t happen for a reason, but you can make reason of everything that happens.