WTF!? (just read it)

I’m pretty sure my most frequent phrase of 2023 thus far has been WTF!?

January lasted FOREVER! I am Wholly Thankful it is February. My bank account was saying, “Where are The Funds?” after what seemed to be double the weeks in just the first month of 2023.

I try not to set the tone of the entire year by January alone. First is rarely best. But, after a month of what felt like forever-long hours, days, and weeks, I chuckled today when a Facebook memory from 12 years ago reiterated my current thoughts… and the header graphic above.

Twelve years ago… Let’s see, I would have been serving as the Director of Special Events at Virginia Tech, still married, and the mother to a 4-year-old and a 2.5-year-old. Yeah, nothing too crazy about that!

Funny enough, I shared this Insta post with my sister-in-law this week… knowing full well what her “day in the life” with a 3-year-old and an 8-month-old looks like.

WTF.

WTF!

WTF?

It is really a quite versatile phrase. Useful in numerous and differing situations. But adaptable too.

Allow me to demonstrate…

TODAY. Who is This Family?

This morning, despite waking a bit later than normal, was (dare I say) perfection. I mean, my hair was in a ponytail and I wasn’t going to win any beauty contests, but I was showered and dressed, kids were up and at it, lunches were made, coffee was hot, we got out the door (one kid appropriately clad in her “Wacky Wednesday” themed outfit– with items generously shared by a sibling), and everyone was on time (including me to my chiropractor appointment). No one was grumpy. No one yelled at another. No sibling snips, intentional annoyances, or rude commentary. No complaints about touching each other or other people’s belongings. Everyone knew the after-school plan. It truly was phenomenal. It rarely happens… okay, I cannot actually recall it EVER happening before today. I was so proud. And I’ve probably jinxed myself for tomorrow. Won’t That be Fantastic?

THE PAST WEEK. Where’s The Fun?

Spring is going to be B-U-S-Y! With three daughters in three different activities, we have Weeks That are Full of dance and rehearsals, cheer and tumbling, lacrosse and weightlifting… and as much as I feel like my car should be bright yellow with a checkerboard stripe down the side, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I love that my girls enjoy and are good at their own things. I wish I could be everything, everywhere, all at once, but it’s clear we must “divide and conquer” to make it happen. And it really does take a village.

In all the planning, scheduling, driving, practicing, hoping, waiting, and doing, the fun can sometimes get lost. I was reminded this past week that these moments in life are fleeting. Especially since my first born took her first solo drive as an officially licensed Virginia driver. EEK.

It’s being there for them, WITH them– in ALL the moments– that’s fun. Fun for me, but– if this momma has her way– fun for them too! I want them to work hard/play hard. I want them to make endless memories, incredible friends, and major milestones. More than anything, I want them to have FUN!

THIS PAST MONTH. Why The Fear? and Where’s The Faith?

January has been a little tough on the emotional front. My Dad had a major (and painful) surgery. He’s tough as nails, so he’s going to be better than good. He’s ahead of his recovery schedule (no real shock there). But the role reversal of parent-child still throws me off. I don’t like seeing the man I hold in such high regard… the man who quite literally achieves anything he puts his mind to… in pain, dependent on others, not at 100%.

I have a dear friend from my Up with People cast in palliative care, losing her battle against cancer. This summer is our 25-year reunion. I don’t want another name from Cast C98 on the “In Memoriam” list. It makes me mad. Downright pisses me off, actually. She’s too young. She has a family. No one deserves what she’s gone through. This is a true (not to be translated here) WTF?

Then the husband of another dear friend who has been in the fight for his life after a case of flu-gone-absolute-worst-case-scenario. And yet, he’s making truly miraculous and remarkable strides toward recovery. It is still a very LONG road ahead, but I’m not sure I’ve ever witnessed the level of faith I’ve seen demonstrated from his wife, in particular, as well as their family and friends. It’s humbling.

ALL of these things, scary and sad and emotionally draining, have led me to a lot of introspection on What’s The Future– for them, for me, for us? What drives our fear(s)? How do we combat them? When are they valid? How do we “outsmart” them? Where do people draw their faith– in medicine, religion, humanity? From where do I draw mine? Could I be as solid and sure and steady as I’ve seen others be if needed?

I’m not sure I have the answers… in fact, I’m certain I don’t. But I want to. Woah, The Frustration!

What do I know? I know that I am ever so grateful to have WordPress as The Forum to Write Through (or To) my Feelings. And how Wonderful To have Friends, like you, who take time to read it.