Poetry

Artifacts

I won’t say forget
But it’s time to forgive
You must learn to release
To “Live and Let Live”

It’s time to move on
Shift present to past
Accept where you are
Hope the good memories last

I once believed
Things happened for a reason
But now I think
We simply live in seasons

Hope springs eternal
Summer sun warmth
The colors soon fall
In coldness we mourn

I cannot explain
How things happen or why
But there is meaning to make
And so, I must try

To understand, to accept
What I cannot explain
To take in the sunshine
To dance in the rain

Kindness extends
To all those around
But the weight of shame
On my chest abounds

To give to oneself
The courtesy of grace
Feels like winning a medal
From the back of the race

Simply impossible
Unlikely and wrong
No matter how determined
No matter how strong

But these are the moments
When we must do our best
To care for one’s self
To ignore all the rest

Tune out all the voices
Silence the fear
Sit in discomfort
Allow the tears

Lean into logic
Look at the facts
It’s all information
Adjust and redact

It occasionally happens
Between the head and heart
An epic battle
We must siphon apart

All that we know
And that which we feel
To determine the truth
Discover what’s real

Once knowledge is found
No illusion it’s simple
It might linger too long
Like an unwanted pimple

But clarity wins
“This Too Shall Pass”
I swear to you
It’s like sliding glass

Once removed
You’ll look back and discover
The journey you took
You’ll see how you recovered

The hurt and the pain
They stay on that far side
Like a museum artifact
To show you survived

So, step right up
And take the tour
A season’s past
For you to explore

Relish the moments
Accept the strife
And know you’ll find beauty
In this thing called life

(2020)

Senses

What would it feel like to show you my soul?
Would it render me empty or make me whole?
What would it look like to have unlimited time?
Would it bring us closer or make you resign?
What would it sound like to hear your voice?
Would you greet me each morning and every night by choice?
What would it smell like to blend our lives?
Would it create a potpourri full of sweet and spice?
What would it taste like to get what we want?
Would success become us or would we act nonchalant?

(2019)

Icarus Revised

If you play with fire, you’re bound to get burn
But some life lessons are harder to learn
For fire is warmth and embers they glow
A single candle or the fireworks blow
Attracted to the flame, the flicker it shines
Adored from a distance, never confined

But just like Icarus, will you fly too close?
Illusions of magic, the grandiose
Only to learn in a painful fall
That what I am is not what you recall
To have risked what you have and all you know
To embrace someone then have it plateau

I get nostalgia, or revisionist history
Modern day romance, a little mystery
Attracted I am, but to what I’m not sure
The risk seems great, but the intention pure

But what if Icarus chose his own fate?
To avoid captivity, he would not abate
And into the sun he willingly flew
Not intending to burn but rather he knew
Engulfed by the flames then quenched with sea
Was it actually death or living was he?

To feel the flames so hot on one’s skin
Then fall to the water unable to swim
Perhaps it’s not painful that glorious heat
Giving in to the need, to not retreat
For quickly it burns and leaves its mark
The sensation of longing, the illustrious spark

Just when you think it’s all you can handle
Realizing it might be worth the gamble
For touching the fire not many will do
To give way to falling, the sky you break through
Surrounded by all that beauty and heat
Then immersed in the water, quick relief

The comfort and coolness, suddenly refreshed
You discover that risk is not your death
It’s avoiding the sun, its heat and shine
That takes the toll, a life confined
Alone you are, parched and cold
Every move made seems too patrolled

Maybe you’re crazy, perhaps that’s the deal
Merely seeking the freedom to love and feel
But with every great myth, there a lesson to learn
Maybe it wasn’t his wings that were burned
But rather his soul he protected as prize
Perhaps that is Icarus’s flight revised

(2019)

Someday

Someday
One day
When you get to payday
Doomsday
Survive another workday
Copay
Wash day
Felling like there’s no way
Hearsay
Dare you say?
There really is another way?
Nowadays
Soul Shift
Not waiting for your hey day
Everyday
Play day
Treated like a holiday
Daylight
Daydreams
Birthdays in the present tense
You deserve
This life you live
The people you love
All you give
You’re enough
Stop and see
Hold up a mirror
It’s beauty you’ll see
Set a timer
Ignore the tasks
Put down the phone
This moment won’t last
Open your eyes
Do not wait
Love to give
Prioritize
Someday
One day
Why not TODAY?

(2018)

A “WWHD” Tribute

WWHD: What Would Hunter Do? (A phrase coined by Scott Edson.) This is a poetic memorial tribute for Scott who was the beloved brother of two people whom I adore.

Wishing we were together
Today more than usual
Missing your smile, wanting more
No acceptance, just refusal

In fields of gold
You walk in peace
Gone to soon
But not released

A contagious demeanor
With a smile so bright
Joy was your aura
And life was your delight

Playing eighteen
On Heaven’s course
With others gone before you
A mighty force

Blue skies and sunshine
No rain today
But tears stream down faces
Sadness and memories weigh

Every year that you’d be older
Anniversaries unwanted
Able to still hear you laugh
The void that’s felt confronted

Even though I can’t hug you
Or share a pint of ale
I recognize each sign you send
You’re present without fail

Butterflies flutter
And music cues unknowing
Both tears and beers spilled
Your stories just keep flowing

You inspired but didn’t know
Positively affected so many
Living life authentically
Good memories are a-plenty

Only the good die young
So as the tune it goes
Perhaps less is more
But not what I’d have chose

Happiness was your wish
For all of those you loved
I hope you see it happening
As you look down from above

Mistake not the smiles
Or a day joyfully lived
Nothing will ever replace
The love to you we give

But in honor of your wishes
To bring forth some good from bad
We celebrate who you were
And the impact that you had

So today on earth
We raise our glass
And cheers to you
Your day of birth

(2017)

A Day in the Life

1 o’clock, 2 o’clock, 3 o’clock… SLEEP

4 o’clock, 5 o’clock, 6 o’clock… BEEP!

Hit the snooze, or cuddle choose

Anything but wake

Out of bed, messy head

A shower I must take

Fix the hair, face is bare

Must add a little bling

Now it’s 7, end of heaven

To wake the girls, I sing

Coffee brews, clothes I choose

I style three heads of hair

House a mess, there is no rest

“But mom, that isn’t fair!”

Grab your books off of the hooks

Hurry, we can’t be late

Buckle up, hold my cup

No chance I’m to work by 8

Now at my desk, a bit grotesque

The to do list a bit insane

Email sent-y, projects aplenty

My job security remains

Running here, going there

I have really got to pee

Gotta hunch I wanna eat some lunch

Thus I must call Bri

A.M., P.M.—no work place BM

The afternoon no different

Flying low, still aglow

Avoiding the insignificant

It’s 5 alive, I’ve gotta jive

Oh how I wish for happy hour

Nope, not that—working mom hat

Off to channel some girl power

Drive the van, pick up my clan

Head to the house for dinner

Cook some mac, add the cheese

I’ll have a real crowd winner

Homework can breed small dorks

And turns moms into monsters

Baths and bubbles are double the trouble

But bath time clearly conquers

Clean the feet and brush the teeth

Hop in the bed, let’s go to sleep

Bedtime stories and little people worries

They can make me laugh or weep

Peaceful dreams, mommy beams

Out of their room I creep

At nine, it’s time for a glass of wine

Such a rare occasion

Pay the bills, no special frills

It doesn’t take persuasion

I start to twitch, then gotta ditch

To sleep I eventually go back

(2016)

Worn

Worn at the edges, frayed on the ends

One thing stops, another begins

Trying to keep up, wanting to excel

But two steps back, step into hell

Each day isn’t awful; it’s just where I am

Teetering between, limbo be damned

Not quite what I want, not quite what I hoped

Wanting to swing high, not hang by my own rope

The future uncertain, waiting is hard

Willing to be all in, let down my guard

The first day of March, the paradox between

The grey, cold skies too often seen

In like a lion, out like a lamb?

Spring upon us, the newness so grand

Rebirth and growth, color and beauty

Finding comfort and peace, my primary duty

Depending on routine, being mindful each day

Ensuring cohesion between what I feel and say

But tired I am… in head and in heart

I’m only one person, I’m doing my part

Expectations so high, so hard to attain

Giving my all, so hard to refrain

But what I need do, what’s an absolute must

Is listening to self and in my own gut trust

For the head is logical but the heart street smart

And knowing one’s self is a long lost art

Vulnerability and authenticity, two sides of a coin

Magic can happen when these two can join

No one said it is easy, but it’s better than fake

A life lived in truth, now fully awake

Let the ides of March come to pass and depend

Let all that is holy be resurrected again

Allow April showers to wash over me

Taking my weariness and making me free

By May let the flowers be a mirror to us all

That only through openness do we break down the walls

(2016)

The Ties That Bind

In Memory of my grandfather, H.B. “Jack” Quillen

There is no greater connection than a family provides;
Name, blood and memories represent the ties that bind.
In youth we are so joyous in all a day may bring;
With age it is tradition to which we tightly cling.
So as each year passes- enjoy life in every way,
And let’s come together frequently for birthdays and holidays;
For it isn’t what we have or own that ensures the circle of life,
It’s caring, love and support in good times and in strife.
In births and in deaths, through all that’s good and bad,
There is no greater thing in life than the family we’ve had.

(2004)