Bye Felicia, Bring on Enya
Whew doggies!!! This week was for the birds! You know the kind– a no good, everything goes wrong, woe is me, shitty, pour salt in the wounds, put me in a padded room kind of week? The kind that you don’t say, “TGIF everyone– Have a terrific weekend!” but rather, “Bye Felicia… and bring me the tequila on your way out!”
Yeah, I had one of those weeks.
The amusing part is that I spent 8 hours (8 HOURS!) on Wednesday in mindfulness training. Truth be told, it was fabulous. I was semi-convinced going into it (despite my best open-minded thinking) that I would be sitting in the lotus position with incense being wafted about me… but instead, I garnered fact-based health benefits, a side dose of humor, a bucket full of authenticity, and some moments of quiet.
As a single mom of 3 daughters… quiet wasn’t a word I was familiar with before Wednesday. Quiet is awkward!!! If mindfulness takes practice, I’m going to have work diligently to get use to quiet!
But honestly, mindfulness isn’t the new age, Enya playing in the background, find your inner peace hubba-bubba I half expected it to be. In short, it’s paying attention on purpose. It’s simply being awake to and aware of your life, your surroundings, your feelings… being alive to YOURSELF and the world around you!
You don’t have to purge your mind of thoughts (as if that would ever be possible), but rather to be aware of what your thoughts are at the moment… without judgment. I love (love, love, love) the idea that my thoughts are NOT who I am…. that my thoughts and feelings don’t define me.
I am not WHAT I’m feeling; this is just HOW I’m feeling.
This is good! Very, very good! So good I may write it in lipstick on my bathroom mirror to be reminded daily.
So on this “I’m going to be more mindful” that it’s an “I need a valium” kind of week, my best friend convinces me I should try Hot Yoga with her for the first time. I thought, “Well hell, why not… what’s the worst that could happen? And, maybe I’ll finally get to hear some Enya.”
Oh Holy Hell! I trained for and completed a half-marathon and Hot Yoga was WAY HARDER! I was a sweaty, leg-twitching, woozy-headed, giggling (but didn’t fart) nincompoop. All I’ve got to say is “Namaste, bitches!”
What I began to realize as I was concentrating intently (so as to not pass out) at Hot Yoga is that life is ALL about the yin yang. This realization being mildly ironic considering I’ve been conjuring a blog post about duality in my head all week. I had no idea it would take this form. Nevertheless…
I wouldn’t know the good without the bad… the happy without the sad… the energy without the exhaustion…
I wouldn’t know mindfulness without the inattention.
But/And, perhaps like others, I prefer the good, the happy, the energy, etc. and so on… so I think I’ll work on paying attention to my life, my actions, my words, my thoughts. I will be open to, present for, and aware of all that this amazing and wondrous life has to offer.
I will appreciate…
- the car I drive (that I locked my keys in)…
- the capabilities of connection through conference calling (after hanging up accidentally on the call which I was late to)…
- my daughter’s health, the genuine concern of her daycare staff, and the wisdom of doctors (after she passed out cold and we spent a half-day in the ER complete with EKG, blood work, etc.)…
- my best friend’s adventurous spirit (even though we both almost died at Hot Yoga)…
- and, for the blissful and unusual quiet (so that I can relish and REALLY appreciate the joyful laughter and exuberance of my beautiful trifecta of Gresham Girls).
In short, it really is as simple as what the most optimistic person I’ve ever met once explained to me…
“What you see depends on what you are looking for!”
So I’ve decided I’m going to look for goodness, love, light, and laughter… kindness, compassion, humanity, and concern… equity and sincerity… authenticity and awesomeness.
They are all there. Seeing such just depends on you… and what you’re looking for!
GlitterBombMom 
I’ve been practicing mindfulness for a while now, often losing the thread as my broken body can attest, but it’s so important. And my favorite movie on this point is Inside Out. 💞
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