Embracing Imperfection

Perfection is prevention.

It prevents you from doing… acting… being.

It tells you, “if only,” and “one day.” It sounds like “must” and “should.”

I knew I wanted to write this blog. It’s been stewing for about a week. I kept putting it off for “the right time.” I haven’t written since February 2022… 10 months ago… LAST YEAR! How can I call myself a writer if I don’t write often (however “often” is defined) or put what I do write out for others to see? What will people think about this blog post? The topic? Will they wonder where I’ve been, or could they care less? Will they even read what I write? And, if they do, will they like it or hate it? Welcome to the internal trappings of my brain. Please enjoy your front row seat to my insecurities.

I finally sat down today to start writing and spent thirty minutes looking for the “perfect” opening quote… because, in my head, my own words aren’t strong or captivating enough on their own. I finally opted against the quote and then started looking at royalty-free images. I spent (wasted) too much time looking for the “perfect” way to start this blog.

Perfection is prevention.

When I say, “I knew I wanted to write this blog,” I mean that I had an idea inspiration. Stay with me for a moment for a little backstory.

My Christmas stocking growing up was handmade by my mother. I love it and still use it to this day. When I had my first daughter, I made her a stocking. In hindsight, it’s pretty remarkable… she was born in late October and that stocking was handing on the mantle at Christmas. How I had time to hand sew a stocking with a newborn I simply do not know. When I had my second daughter, who was born in late April, hers too was hanging on the mantle for her first Christmas (~7 months). With my third daughter, who was born in July, she had to wait until her second Christmas. Oops. It took me 18 months to complete… I guess having three kids was a little distracting. HA!

When my partner Steven came into my life (and I knew he’d be around for a good long while), I decided he needed a Hunter-handmade stocking too. I picked the pattern in 2020 (hopeful optimism about the relationship- but it was 2020, so we’d spent A LOT of time together). I started the stocking in 2021. I finished the stocking on Christmas Eve 2022. I also took numerous liberties and shortcuts. I take directions for sewing (and cooking) as more of a recommendation than requirement. My love and intent were pure. My time availability and dedication to completing the project was a little lacking, I guess. Nevertheless, it is done.

And while I absolutely love how it turned out… it is EXTRA sparkly… I kept looking at the backside. It was a mess! I vaguely recall a cross-stitcher once telling me that the back should look as good as the front. Eek. Uhmmmm. Ut Oh!

I have ideas (and inspiration) often, but I’m “busy” or I don’t have my computer, or I need to be in the right head space, or I want to dedicate “special time” to write. In reality, if I’m being honest, I’m looking for perfection. The perfect moment. The perfect opening line. The perfect blog (or book chapter). The perfection seeking leads to prevention. To inaction. To nothing.

Eleanor Roosevelt once asked,

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”

Wise words from a wise woman. How often do we stifle ourselves, our talents, and our interests because of fear? Afterall, isn’t perfectionism an attempt to avoid failure, disappointment, and embarrassment or to maintain some perceived image of ourselves that we believe (or want) others to have of us?

Admittedly, I want to be perceived as the front of that stocking. Honestly though, I feel like the back of the stocking more days than not… a hot mess of chaotic moments stitched together.

But isn’t that life?

And isn’t it beautiful in its own unique way?

Each new year, I choose a word (or words) for the year. An idea to focus on that might guide me to be more purposeful or reflective in my doing and being. So, this year, I’ve decided on the following…

To be perfectly clear, I’m not going to be a slacker or do things half-assed, but I am going to DO THEM… ESPECIALLY when the time isn’t just right, when the idea isn’t fully formed, when I don’t look my best, when I’m too busy, when my house isn’t clean, when the laundry isn’t done, when I don’t feel like it.

I’m going to keep a notepad with me for writing inspiration when I’m not near my computer. I’m going to go for a ten-minute walk even when I wish I could exercise for thirty minutes. I’m going to put my phone down and be fully present more often. I’m going to multitask less and focus on what is in front of me in that moment. More so, I’m going to (try to) stop apologizing when things aren’t… when I’m not… perfect.

I’d welcome you on this journey and I’ll gladly give you the grace to be intentionally imperfect too!